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Posted on Sunday, 3 June 2012.

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This is probably the most recent picture with my mom, she doesn’t like to take pictures. Her & I don’t get a long very well, were like cat & mouse. We don’t have that mother-daughter relationship that a lot of mothers & daughters have with one another. I just really want to tell my mom that I’m sorry for everything, sorry for being the daughter she doesn’t want, the one that makes her life miserable & like hell. As if she’s not going through enough already, but I really don’t mean to do anything to get her to fire up & upset. You know how us teenagers just chill there and don’t do anything and we get yelled the hell out of and were thinking like, “WTF…did I do..”?” Yeah happens to me all the time, I believe that my mom just has his hatred towards me, as much as I don’t wanna believe that. I honestly think she does. My mom has given up a lot to put a roof on top of my 3 siblings & I heads, she’s still struggling. & when she’s sad and at that breaking point, for her to think I don’t feel for her, the sadness, depressed feeling that she feels is so wrong, I do feel for her, I do! I just..I don’t know what I could say or do, I feel helpless, I can’t magically make her life all happy and dandy. She’s the type if I say something, she’ll go off on me, its like whatever I say annoys the heck outta her, as if she can’t stand me. I really want my mom to have a life that she always dreamed of, I just don’t know how I could do that, I can’t magically get money and help her pay off everything, if I could, believe me I would. It may sound like I’m over exaggerating, but I feel like without me in the house, my mom will have this weight off herself, this relief. Like all this stress is off of her, its like I add more stress weight on her without meaning to, I feel like she bottles all this anger up, and I’m part of it, and she won’t let it go, she bottles it and snaps at me with all that anger. Like its just me & my dad that makes her so angry, my sister she has this horrible attitude, towards everyone, but yet she doesn’t get yelled at, its crazy, I know a lot of you guys could relate to that. But I think part of it is, because of the incident that happen to my sister, she nearly lost her life, it was a horrifying day, a day that we can only remember and can’t forget as much as we want to, part of it was a feeling that myself & my parents felt it was our faults. That’s why I think my mom is easy on my sister, even with that, there’s no excuse for someone to act like that right? Its unfair, and not acceptable to be so disrespectful, but I guess some people just get their ways? People think I live this good life, and what not. Well think twice, I don’t. I constantly struggle and stress myself out so much, always locking myself in my room. I put on this act, this show to trick people, to not let them see through my wall I put up. My flaws, my struggles, the life that I live everyday, the life I go through.

11,615 notes

Posted on Saturday, 2 June 2012.

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Posted on Friday, 1 June 2012.

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Posted on Friday, 1 June 2012.

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26,535 notes

Posted on Friday, 1 June 2012.

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Posted on Friday, 1 June 2012.

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Posted on Friday, 1 June 2012.

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13,716 notes

Posted on Friday, 1 June 2012.

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23,227 notes

Posted on Friday, 1 June 2012.

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Posted on Friday, 1 June 2012.

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